Meetings

I once spent a week like this...

You can tell there is a problem where you work, when you spend more
time in meetings than anything else.

Keep in mind that these are numbers for time I was physically present.
Time spent in preparation or post mortem is not included....

M - none that I can remember, but heck, I could have forgotten some by now.
T - .75 interviewing a potential contractor
    1   lunch with said
    2   KPA
W   2.5 Staff meeting
    1   Security team
    1   vendor presentation
    1.5 WWW steering committee meeting
    .5  Meeting with boss on progress report of my projects...
Th  .75 another interview session
    1   lunch again
    3 Program review (to my boss's boss)
F   1 KPA again
    1.5 Networking growth meeting


Time off?

[This took place on a Thursday afternoon. The workday nominally ends
at 4:30.]


So I told my boss that I was taking Friday off this week. He doesn't
disagree or anything. 4:25 rolls around, and as soon as I finish my
discussion with xxxx, I'm heading out.

Brainless blunder wanders by, and wants me to crunch up some numbers
that show that [tickets from our trouble ticket management software] 
from 9 departments don't sit around longer than average. Of course 
all department numbers have 2 letters in them, and [application] is 
case sensitive, so now I've got 36 qualifications to the query, before 
I even get around to computing the numbers. [application] isn't the 
most friendly tool for this either, cut and paste is painful, and 
prone to boo-boos.

So much for my 32 hour work week.

Signal Handling

Sometimes, don't you just wish you could:
while (1)
  kill -SIGCLUE `cat /tmp/boss.pid`
end
Unfortunately, they all seem to have their signal handler set to ignore this one. Sigh.

Unix enhancements - Dilbert Style

Note: Dilbert is probably copyrighted by Scott Adams.

Email sent to my fellow System Admins after a little boo-boo. No, I didn't change the content (other than to remove names). The grammar is how the message arrived.

From:    [Manager]
Subject: Server Self Test on boot...



Team,

Last weekend, [application] server was down and Engineer on call came
in and rebooted the machine. He checked it out and felt it was OK. But, 
fact of the matter it was not fully functional, and we did not realize 
it till next day.

What we need is a self test routine for all the servers that checks
itslef after it reboots. It will check that all file sytems are OK, all
applications are mounted right, network is available etc. A simple minded 
script to just check launching of few key applications such as [list
of applications]. 

We have mail servers [no, we have one mail server], [several applications], 
file servers, NIS, [hostname [which happens to be the "NIS" he
mentioned]], etc. etc. 

Let me get a feedback on the validity of this request and then  figure
out doing it.

Regards
[Manager]
Like the same people that couldn't get the startup scripts right, are going to be able to write scripts to check the functioning of their startup scripts????? Last time I checked, Unix did a great job of checking filesystems too.

When _DO_ backups Run?

[I didn't make this one up, either; particularly the grammar.]

"[backup software] Update: Remaining [Backup software] servers 
were upgraded to [Software] x.y.z. Since this had to be done on-line and 
slipped in between the backup process so as not to impact the backup. 
It was installed during the vee hours (1-3 AM) of Saturday morning. 
Thanks [person who did the work]."
So it looks like backups don't run at night any longer in the business world, because it would slow down the nethack playing and such. Oh, and the original message said that only one machine was upgraded.

Spelling Counts!

Names have been removed to protect the guilty, as usual.
To: assistance@somesite.edu
From: ProfessorX@somesite.edu
Subject: broken

netscape is broken on [machine]

        csh$gt netsacpe
        netsacpe: Command not found

+++++++
To: ProfessorX@somesite.edu
From: assistance@somesite.edu
Subject: Re: broken


netscape is broken on [machine]

        csh> netsacpe
        netsacpe: Command not found



I think the problem is in your spelling of
'netscape'.

In any case, it is in [path]
+++++++
So does this mean spelling only counts on tests and papers???

Reading Comprehension?

Sometimes, I get the feeling that no one actually reads the mail I send them. They certainly don't understand it...
To: me@somecompany.com
From: manager@somecompany.com
Subject: Re: access to machine via product x

Hi Howard,

Is this all the information you need to add this [customer] user?

Thanks

Manager

> Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 15:56:31 -0500 (EST)
> To: manager@somecompany.com
> From: employee@somecompany.com
> Subject: Re: access to machine via product x
> 
> [Manager],
> 
> I have received the Ip address from [user] at [customer]. It is as follows:
> 
> [ip]
> 
> Please let me know what needs to be done (if anything) to have him set up 
> to work on the machine at [customer].
> 
> thanks,
> 
> 
> > To: idiot
> > cc: employee, manager, me
> > Subject: Re: access to machine via product x
> > Date: Fri, 30 Jan 1998 01:16:02 -0500
> > From: me
> > 
> > In a message posted Thursday, January 29:
> > 
> > >  Hi Howard.
> > >  Someone from [customer] will need to access [product] very soon.
> > >  He's an outside contractor for [customer] but he'll be working at [customer]
> > >  next week. He will forward his IP address to [employee] tomorrow. We need to
> > >  have him set up before 2pm on Tuesday. 
> > 
> > We've been down this path before. I don't need the IP address, because
> > all [customer] connections come through their firewall, which rewrites
> > the connections to appear to be from there.
> > 
> > With [out of town co-worker] in town next week, it will get done tomorrow 
> > or [list of managers] can hash out who will get my attention.
> > 
> > Someone from R&D will have to tell me what ports they are using (for
> > some silly reason the ports are different on each machine). 
> > 
> > This might of course be a non-issue, as the stuff may be running on
> > the correct ports (xxxx-xxxx, I believe) which I had set up when they
> > first went on line. Or, it might be reasonable for R&D to move the
> > service to where the "hole" already exists.
> > 
> > 
> > Please note this whole issue came up back in November:
> >  
> > In the future, I strongly suggest that all offsite connectivity
> > changes be planned, and that all such change requests be given to the
> > implementor(s) no less than one business week in advance in clearly and
> > concisely defined written terms with a technically aware point of
> > contact given for both companies. This way any details requiring
> > technical knowledge (IPs, ports, etc) can be determined and done
> > correctly from the start instead of the piecemeal mess that has been
> > the case to date.

So how do you tell a manager that they and two of their people need a remedial reading comprehension course???

Errorless Failure Preferred!

To: me
From: support-person-who-likes-extra-work
Subject: NPD Serv Req Status Chg

After further evaluation by (manager), the NPD service request
(number) has now been "Rejected".  Please see the justification
for the change in status below...


Request Subject Area     : Big Application
Statement of Need        : enhance /appls/bin/application_start as follows

   1. keep transcript window open if an error is detected during startup
(abnormal exit)

   2. continue to close transcript window for normal exit

Justification for Reject : Originally impleented [sic] per majority of user
community request.
So then, the user community would rather the application just silently fails when picked from the menu????? Not to mention getting calls to the helpdesk that are going to be so FULL of detail...

Somehow, I think what annoyed the users was having that extra window come up that they always had to get rid of, but what do I know?


Hot swap?

In response to a message telling a user that I'd be adding memory to his desktop machine:

is it necessary to log out?


Disclaimer: This document in no way represents the University of Tennessee, Knoxville.
All opinions, errors, or content are mine.

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