Tennessee, Fulmer get the best laugh

GAINESVILLE -- It's all gone now.

Everything.

No more Rose Bowl.

No more Southeastern Conference championship.

Maybe even no more Heisman Trophy.

And especially no more Phil Fulmer fat jokes.

Not anymore. Not forevermore.

Not after what Fulmer, the perennial punch line of so many Florida jabs, accomplished Saturday. Not only did Fulmer beat his longtime nemesis, Steve Spurrier, but he beat him in the biggest game in front of the largest crowd ever at Florida Field.

Fulmer entered this game 2-7 against Spurrier, but he left 1-0 after Saturday's shocking 34-32 upset of the No. 2 Gators. Throw out all previous coaching records because this one game takes precedent over all others put together. This one game gives UT bragging rights for life.

This one was for the SEC East. This one was for Florida quarterback Rex Grossman being the clear-cut front-runner for the Heisman Trophy. This one was for the once-in-a-lifetime chance of playing for the national championship in the Rose Bowl.

As ancient Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu once wrote in The Art of War: "Will somebody please tackle Travis Stephens!"

If only Darnell Dockett had twisted Stephens' knee -- that's about the only hope the Gators had of winning this game. Stephens is the 5-foot-9 Tennessee runner who flattened Florida's defense to the tune of 226 yards. Only the great Herschel Walker -- Herschel Walker, for crying out loud -- has run for more yards against a UF defense. Question: Is it too late to start a write-in Heisman campaign for Stephens?

And what will be the big off-the-field story this week -- Spurrier accusing UT coaches of teaching Tennessee offensive linemen to run directly at Florida defenders while planting them three feet into the ground?

How could this possibly be? In one amazing afternoon, the Gators went from the penthouse to the Outback. Tennessee fans tossed roses at their players afterward. And it only would have been fitting if Florida fans had showered the Gators with Blooming Onions.

The Gators could end up in the Outback Bowl, or maybe they'll go to the Orange Bowl. Who knows? Who cares? It doesn't matter. It's like Grossman said after Saturday's devastating defeat: "The season's pretty much over."

Nobody thought Tennessee could win this game. Not the oddsmakers. Not the sports writers. Not Lee Corso and his ESPN College GameDay crew -- all of whom picked Florida to win big.

A Tennessee victory? Imposserus. Not here. Not in The Swamp, where the Vols haven't won since Ronald Reagan was in office -- as governor of California.

After it was all over, Tennessee quarterback Casey Clausen stood on a makeshift platform in the Florida Field stands and joyously conducted the UT band's umpteenth rendition of "Rocky Top."

Meanwhile, Spurrier, visibly devastated, was finishing his postgame news conference. He walked away from the podium mumbling to nobody in particular, "They just kicked our butts. There's not much else you can say. Yep, they kicked our butts. OK . . . They kicked our butts."

Phil Fulmer 1, Steve Spurrier 0.

No matter what happened in the past and what happens in the future, Tennessee always will have Dec. 1, 2001. It is the ultimate ammunition, the supreme argument ender.

Florida fans can boast all they want about how the Gators dominated Peyton Manning. They can talk about winning 31-0 in '94 or 62-37 in '95, but all Tennessee fans have to do is respond like this:

"Remember 2001 at your place when everything was on the line?"

End of discussion.

Mike Bianchi can be reached at mbianchi@orlandosentinel.com.