Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical terms that nobody understands?
Do you want to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of DP managers everywhere?
If so, then let the Famous Programmers' School lead you on . . .
into the world of professional computer programming.
Despite popular myths, some programmers actually do earn a living doing the work they love. Other, less fortunate programmers work in their spare time at home while watching television. Either way, your potential could reach into the millions, possibly into the billions, of dollars. Of course, your success depends a lot on your abilities, luck, shoe size, the phase of the moon, etc.
The staff of the Famous Programmers' School includes some of the best known names in the microcomputing field. From left to right: Bennett Lisp (with cigar), Rod Snobol (with feelers), Bruce Fortran (eating cigar), Rudolf Forth (natty attire), Ignatious "Call Me Blaise" Pascal (feelers, cigar, and flowchart), and the immortal Red Basic (smug look).
Programming is not for everyone. But if you have a desire to learn, we can help you get started. All you need is the Famous Programmers' Course and enough money to keep those lessons coming month after month.
To help you determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to try this simple test:
They say a good programmer can write 20 lines of effective program per day. With our unique training course, we'll show you how to write 20 lines of code and lots more besides. Our training course covers every programming language in existence, and some that aren't. You'll learn why the on/off switch is so important, what the words FATAL ERROR mean, and who and what you should blame when you make a mistake.
Many of our students have gone on to achieve great success in all fields of programming. One former student developed the concept of the personalized form letter. Does the phrase, "Dear Mr. (insert name), You may already be a winner!" sound familiar? Another student writes, "After only five lessons I sold a 'My Most Unforgettable Program' article to Corrosive Computing magazine.
Another of our graduates write, "I recently completed a database-management program for my department manager. My program touched him so deeply that he was speechless. He told me later that he had never seen such a program in his entire career. Thank you, Famous Programmers' School; only you could have made this possible."
Send for our introductory brochure that explains in vague detail the operation of the Famous Programmers' School, and you'll be eligible to win a possible chance to enter a drawing, the winner of which can vie for a set of free steak knives. If you don't do it now, you'll hate yourself in the morning.
Famous Programmers' School+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Yes, I want the brochure describing this incredible offer. I enclose | | $1000 in small unmarked bills to cover the cost of postage and handling.| | (No live poultry, please.) Send the information to: | | | | Name: ___________________________________________________________ | | Address: ________________________________________________________ | | City, State: ____________________________________ Zip: __________ | | | +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
2006-03-26:
Twenty-four years after this joke advertisement was published in
BYTE magazine, a Google search for similar pages revealed that
many websites contain renditions of it.
Interestingly, the Post Office Box in most of these is given
as "4634", which is not what the original ad said;
thus I infer that one unknown person reconstructed the ad's
text, and then hundreds of other people merely copied it.
After copying, some website authors then made subtle changes,
such as moving the school's location to London!
Can you guess which famous programmer I portray in the photo?
...RSS